"Mr. Winter, I'm afraid your daughter said something unacceptable in front of class." Principal Thomson leaned forward and clasped her hands on her desk, her serious statements pose. "Oh?" replied Mr. Winter. "What did she say?"

"She said a bad word."

"Did you, now?" Winter looked at his daughter, sitting next to him. She nodded.

"Ms. Thomson," said Winter, "there are no bad words, only bad uses. How did my daughter use this word inappropriately?"

"She said 'Thomas Jefferson died of shitting too much.'"

"Did she?" said Winter. "Did you?" he asked his daughter. She nodded. He looked back at the principal. "Is she right?" The principal leaned back and crossed her arms, surprised. "Hold on." He took out his phone.

"Look, it doesn't matter if—"

"Sh," said Winter. "Here, these sources say Jefferson died of many diseases, with symptoms including diarrhea. So," he turned to his daughter, "you see, the shitting happened because he was sick, but it wasn't the real cause. There," he said to the principal, "misconception corrected."

"It's not about whether she was right! She shouldn't say 'shit' in school."

"Sweetie?" said Winter.

"Yes, Daddy?"

"Don't say 'shit' in school."

"Okay, Daddy."

"Done," he said.