Half dark. An infrequented spot on campus. Perfect for an asshole in a hood to step around a corner of Donal Music Hall and point a gun at my chest. Froze in my boots, of course. Just gave two more assholes a chance to appear and surround me. Was shit, is what it was. “Here’s the deal,” said First Asshole. “Stand your ground and fight me,” flick, and a knife appeared in his hand, “or run and we hunt you. Either way, your life is on the line.” Blank look precipitates explanation. “No one appreciates life ‘til they fight not to lose it. You’ll thank us after, just like the others. If you survive.”

The fuck? Stalled, asking if I got a knife. Yes, apparently. Other assholes were there to keep me from running once a fight starts.

Guess all those fencing lessons were worth something. Cut on his arm and Asshole Prime drops his knife. Starts to congratulate me, then runs when he sees I’m not stopping. Only fair, right?

Turns out, I do feel pretty great. Giving no shits about late essays now. Maybe Asshole was onto something.

Still called the cops, of course. Fucking pretentious presumptuous asshole.