I thought it’d be easy to be a superhero. Find out you’re super strong, super tough, and bam! You’re a superhero. At least, I thought so.

But I can’t fly, and I’m not super fast. It turns out bad guys don’t just fall into your lap. They don’t just run up and start fights, and I’m never in the right place when bad things happen.

I walked through dangerous neighborhoods for a while. I stopped doing that when I yelled at a mugger to stop, and he stabbed the victim before he ran. I tried to stop the bleeding, but it just went everywhere and… I couldn’t. I didn’t go back.

Thought maybe I could join the police, do some of their really dangerous stuff. Get some of their folks off the line of fire, y’know? But I wasn’t any good. I kept failing their tests. I wasn’t any good at crisis situations, kept losing points on reckless endangering. They gave me extra chances, probably because-

Oh. That’s lunch break over. Demo’s not bad work, y’know? The pay is good. And hey, I don’t need a hard hat. They make me wear one, though. Good luck with your news story.