Dani knelt by her bed. "God," she said, "why does the other line always turn out to be slower when you switch?" In her ears resounded the voice of Patriarchal Christian God, deep and authoritative. "The Tenth Commandment, obviously."
Perplexed by the answer but made stalwart by her faith, Dani asked, "'Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's wife?'"
"Or house, or servant, or good job, place in line. It's not that hard. So every time someone tries to change over to a faster line, I slow down the new line just to get 'em for it."
"But... You don't do that for other commandments. Why not smite murderers, or people worshipping false gods, or... or adulterers?"
"First, who says I'm not?" said Patriarchal Christian God. "Maybe I'm making their lives miserable in ways you can't see. And second, people who can't take a breath and wait for the front of their line just really cheese me off. That's what the whole War in Heaven was about, really. Lucifer cut in line. To Hell with it. Boom, done. Fistbump, Dani. It's Miller time."
Dani stood up. "Is this really the best use of your power? God?" Patriarchal Christian God didn't answer.