"Hey." Alicia quirked an eyebrow and a smile at the half-naked man. "How you doin'?"
"Miss?" An older man approached, sounding concerned.
She glanced over. "A bit young for you, doncha think?"
His eyes widened in confusion. "Miss, are you... flirting with Jesus?"
Alicia looked up at the man on the cross with a smile. "Is that your name?" She bit her lip. "Strong, silent type? You really hit all my buttons. Bingo!" She laughed, a little self-consciously.
"Miss, this is a church." The priest gently turned her toward the door.
"Did I say you could touch me?"
"Next time I'll scream." She turned back to Jesus. "Now how about you and I get out of here?"
"Miss, I..." He tried to herd her without touching her, so his hands hovered around her shoulders. She ignored him.
"Don't worry, Jeezy, I may be looking 'cause you're smokin', but I want to know the man behind the muscles. Maybe we fit, maybe we don't, y'know?"
"Thank God," Jesus said, pulling free of the cross. "Most of the time I just feel so objectified, y'know?"
"Let's get outta this meat market."
Gasping in a pew, the priest watched them leave.