Panic

She was driving the wrong way. Only two hours left on the babysitter’s clock, and she took a deliberate wrong turn and took them out of the pack. Just off the ferry, minutes after discussion about their timing and stopping for dinner, and after he’d said he was happy to be in the front of the pack. And she had him looking up details of her alternate route.

“Let me read,” he snapped, when she asked him if the road connected through, and she shut up and let him read. He shut the book.  “No, there’s no way through. There’s a ferry.”

“Oh,” she said. “Well, we won’t go through the pass this time.” She turned.

He stewed. “We were ahead of the pack. We were going to make good time, we… Where are you going?”

“We can connect up with the freeway this way.”

“Oh.” He paused. “I’m sorry I snapped.”

“It’s okay.”

“I was happy we had the lead, and you just turned away, without knowing…” He looked out the window for a while. Farms with lakes, craggy bluffs with evergreens, like where he grew up, passed by. “This is a really nice route. Thanks for taking it.”

Ferry Dust

She’d never trained for anything like this. Three days after the end of the world, and she was the nominal captain of an inter-island ferry. She’d seen the detonations in her figurative rear-view and gave the full-steam ahead.

Now they were stopped, husbanding the fumes that remained in the tank while her engineer Kaplana figured out if they could scavenge gas from the tanks of boarded cars. No one had protested. She thought they were all still in shock from the blinding lights and the horizon-swallowing clouds. Hell, so was she.

At least Kaplana had an idea of what to do. Her training included useful skills. Not so, the captain. All she knew was how to drive a boat and log her hours, and now this group of two thousand waited on her decisions on where to go, what to do.

“Captain,” came the radio, “looks like the car fuel will work. We have about 200 miles before we’re dead in the water. What do you want to do?”

Cry. Give up. Put you in charge. Anyone, just not me. I’m not remotely qualified for this, or anything like this.

“Where are we going, Captain?”

Neither is anyone else.

“Alaska.”

The Love List

“Make a list of the things you love about me,” she said. And she would do the same, and they’d meet back up the next day and see if they were really a good match.

Ten minutes to go, and he stared down at his list so far. “Tits,” it said.

His marriage was doomed. She was going to come back with a list praising his humor, his smile, the way he crinkled his eyes when he laughed, the stories he had to tell about his clients, everything about his sexy-yet-casual outfits. And all he’d have in return was this one thing, this insulting, sexist love that he held for her.

What could he love in her? Besides, you know. She always made the bed. Eh. Her way with plants? Sorta. It was cool that she’d taken up whittling. Except it always left wood shavings on the floor. Her family was funny… well, weird. She told good stories, too, but he liked his more. She wore nice outfits, but he paid more attention to his own.

She sat down next to him. They exchanged papers. This was it: the end.

“Dick,” said her list.

“Oh, thank god,” they said together.

A 200-Word RPG

You and each of your friends joining you is a player of a role-playing game.

Each player names her character, then gives her character three one- to five-word traits. One is a skill or attribute, one is an experience, and one is a signature object.

Examples:

Cannius Cant, strong, never defeated, heirloom sword

Alberta Alphonsa Margreta III, technologist, cheated from science fair victory, clockwork glove.

Players collaboratively narrate the story, introducing conflicts, enemies, and complications. When a player disagrees with how the consensus affects or narrates her character, she can try to change what happens with respect to her character.

She declares how she wants the story to go, and why this makes more sense for her character. Then, she can make a case for why any of her character’s traits makes her narrative more likely. Each trait that at least one other player agrees supports her story counts.

The contending player rolls one die, plus one for each trait that counts. If any die shows a six, she gets to narrate how the story goes for her character for the next few minutes. Then, return to consensus narrative until another player wants to do something different with her character.

Prince and the Pauper

When the prince saw the poor boy in the street, he knew he’d found his freedom. At his word, guards singled the boy out of the crowd and whisked him away.

The pauper had been abused by the guard before, and feared for his life. It was a bewildering surprise that they took him without harm to a lush garden, greeted by a rich-dressed figure’s back. “We have something in common,” said the prince, and he turned to reveal his face, identical to the pauper’s.

His scheme was simple: change clothes in the privacy of the garden. The prince enjoys a taste of the common life, and the pauper experiences a day of noble luxury. The exchange remains secret from everyone except the prince’s bodyguard, who would accompany the prince.

Overwhelmed by his good fortune and the presence of majesty, the pauper agreed. Within the hour, they had made the exchange, the prince and his bodyguard making their way through the city incognito, the pauper easing himself into the royal life with a royal bath.

It was there that the royal guard found him, ripping him from the water and arresting him for the crime of murdering his royal brother.

 

I Am a Vine

I am a piece of one tendril of a vine, crawling up a brick wall. I cling to it, burrowing tiny rootlets into the brick, holding myself against the wall so I can grow further up. Nutrients flow into me. I keep only a portion, sending the rest onward, upward, to keep the tendril alive and to push new growth upward, toward the light.

There was a feeling of safety when I was nearer other tendrils. Massed together, we were strong, we could do anything. Now I only feel exposed.

The tendril ahead of me wants more fuel, but I feel a change in the supply of nutrients. I still have fuel for myself and to pass along, but I feel the pressure dropping. I sense change on the vine.

I push food onward even as supply dwindles. The vine behind me grows brittle. It has been cut, my source of food destroyed. I feel myself drying up, dying. I push food onward. A drop saved might keep me supple, alive, for another moment, and what I pass along feeds growth that will shortly die.

I push it on anyway, even as I dry out. What else can I do?

 

Into the Dark

“Stooooone-breeaaaakerrrr!”

The bellow accompanied the appearance of Orik, of clan Stonebreaker, as he burst through the tunnel wall. Striding across the rubble, he tossed aside the mighty pick-hammer that had performed the task, dropped his lantern-helmet on the ground, and lowered his armored bulk onto a rock. “Time for a smoke,” he boomed, one pipe of the hookah already sticking out through his bountiful, flowing beard.

Kort, of the Warbeard clan, looked at the new arrival without turning his body, and the many inscribed tablets woven into his beard jingled as he did. “The way you treat your equipment is unbecoming of a dwarf, Stonebreaker,” he said. “Put it away properly so you don’t shame your ancestors.” He looked back at the embers heating their cookpot. “And must you shout that warcry every time you cut a new tunnel?”

“Better than those invectives to great Marrok you cry out,” said the Stonebreaker. “‘By Marrok’s twisted testicles!’” he mimicked. But his wide grin never left his face, and he picked up and dusted off his pick with care.

“Were you followed?” asked the Spellforger. Six rune-inscribed tablets of stone circled his head, as they always did, and made the Stonebreaker lean away as the Spellforger leaned in, as they always did.

“We didn’t see a thing,” said the Stonebreaker.

The Spellforger harumphed. “Doesn’t mean you weren’t followed,” he said, before he turned back to the half-ruined carving he’d been examining before the Stonebreaker’s return.

“Orik,” said the Godbinder, handing over a bowl of hot stew as he filled it, adding a smile and a splash of whiskey. “Easy enough trip?”

“Plenty easy, Vasa.” He took the bowl and started eating with a spoon from his belt. “These young folk studied up. Not like the last bunch. These kids knew what they were doing.”

“Speaking of the kids,” the Godbinder paused and stroked a finger from his eyebatch down his beard. “Where are they?”

“Down the tunnel a ways,” said the Stonebreaker. “Told ‘em I had to scout the new tunnel to make sure it was clear of gloamlings before I brought ‘em along. Any time now they’ll figure out we went in a circle and catch me up.” He took another mouthful of stew, then another puff from the hookah. “As if I’d take ‘em anywhere near the poisonous little buggers.”

“The bite of a gloam kin is not venomous,” said the Wayfinder, “nor do they envenom their weapons.” She sat crosslegged near the fire, her spear across her lap.

“Course they are,” said the Stonebreaker. “They got their poison bite when the god Humeriel cursed the six forgotten dwarf lords for daring to brave his realm, and their clans became the gloamlings. ‘For all time shall your lineage be poisoned’ and all that.”

“The quote refers to the tainting of the clans, not actual poison,” said the Warbeard.

“Besides,” said Van, of clan Tinkersmith, “everyone knows it was the legendary smith Alor who forged the gloamlings from the souls of those dwarves who had doomed their souls. She alloyed them with shadow, so they’d not be seen, and cowardice, so they would flee the light. But she did her job too well, and the gloamlings learned the trick of invisibility. And being too fearful to craft their own goods, they steal ours.”

“Gloamlings can’t become invisible,” said the Spellforger.

“Sure they can,” said the Stonebreaker.

“If they could, we’d all already be meat hanging in their larders.” And the Spellforger looked at his companions, and then at all the shadowy corners of the tunnel, as though a gloamling would leap from it.

“Gloam kin do not eat dwarves,” said the Wayfinder, still staring off down the tunnel. “Though they do love the taste of our defeat. One wonders whence their enmity for us.”

“They’re pissed that we’re still dwarves and they’re not,” said the Tinkersmith, with a “Yeah!” from the Stonebreaker. “And they do eat dwarves,” she added. “I’ve seen skeletons--”

“My forebears have walked these tunnels and marked its secrets ways since the first dwarf carved himself from the living stone itself. We have seen all there is to--”

“Yes,” said the Warbeard, “All of our ancestors have traveled through the tunnels of the earth since our people were a people. Some of us remember what is and what has been better than others.” He eyed his massive shield, inscribed with family lore. “No reason to argue over legends and stories of the gloam.”

“Besides,” said the Spellforger, “Everyone knows a gloamling can crawl inside a dead dwarf and make him walk around until he starts to rot.” Shouts drowned him out, even as he yelled, “It’s true!”

“Legends and stories are good fun, but shouldn’t we be telling them with the young ‘uns here?” said the Godbinder. “Orik, shouldn’t they be here by now?”

“By Marrok’s braided butthairs,” cried the Stonebreaker, leaping up and upsetting his empty bowl. “What could have gotten to them?” He turned to look fearfully down the tunnel he’d made, and within moments, the others had all disappeared down the tunnel, weapons in hand. All but the Godbinder, who waited with the stationary Stonebreaker.

“Where are they?” asked the Godbinder.

“Behind that wall.” The Stonebreaker nodded at the wall behind the Godbinder.

“That was a good one,” said his friend. “Get ‘em back in here, and we can pretend they were here the whole time.”

“Got it in one,” said the Stonebreaker, standing up and hefting his massive pick-hammer.

“Stooooone-breeaaaakerrrr!”